I wish that every single memory that we have ever had could be recorded onto a DVD. It would be called, “Your Memories.” Nothing too fancy, right? And we would be able to watch every year of our lives from age 1 to our current ages. Not so we could dwell on the past for hours or relive bad moments but because I think that this DVD of our memories could possibly assist us all on our healing journeys.
What do you think?
A few months ago, during my meditation session an old memory resurfaced and I was pleasantly shocked. I’ll share it with you.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and my mother parked the car in a small parking lot across the street from where we were heading. She held my hand as we crossed the street, I remembered that the steps were too high for my short little legs and I had to reach my legs way up. My mother had already told me that we were going to her friends house. She was a hair stylist who was going to do our hair. As my mother’s friend worked on our hair, she spoke lovingly of her husband's incredible job, two older successful daughters and her young impressively intelligent son. As she spoke, I looked around her beautiful home. For where I was sitting, in the salon area, the kitchen was directly across from me and I thought, “Wow, I have never seen a kitchen like that before. That refrigerator is so fancy. I don’t think I will ever have a kitchen like that.” That was the first moment I became aware of the economic status of my own family. I felt poor. I felt shame. Then, my mother’s friend, began passionately telling us about her daughter’s college graduations, they were both graduating soon and she was so proud of them. In that moment, I thought, “I will probably never go to college because I am not smart.” I saw a picture of her daughters in a frame and I felt so ugly. I thought, “I am not pretty like them.”
After this memory resurfaced, I told my mom about it and she was shocked. She told me her friends name and she confirmed the details that I had given to her. I wish that I could tell you why this specific memory travelled from my subconscious mind up to my conscious mind but I can’t. What I CAN tell you is that, we all have millions of memories that we do not remember, that we are not conscious of and we can have access to them. But the only way to gain this access is to rid ourselves of the many distractions of this world and sit still more often.
That memory that I shared with you has helped me deeply. I felt the feelings that little me felt. I felt them as a child would feel them but I was there as an observer. I was able to reframe and redefine that memory/that moment with compassion instead of pity. I was able to dig deeper into the reasons why I had such negative thinking patterns at such a young age. Now, in my present, when I catch myself thinking negative or self defeating thoughts, I understand that my inner child needs my affirmation and love. When I had that memory, I corrected those lies that little me said in her mind. I told her, “I’m sorry that you didn’t feel smart or pretty but I want to tell you something. You ARE so smart, my love and you ARE so pretty. And if you want a fancy kitchen one day? You will have that fancy kitchen because in this life, anything is possible.”
Do you think that unlocking old memories would be beneficial to your healing journey? Or would it simply be another distraction? I, personally, believe that it would be beneficial. It would be awesome if the DVD of our memories was held within a school. Let’s call it, “The School of Healing.” (LOL just roll with me here for a second) We could go through the levels like grades and we would begin with kindergarten. We would go through each memory and heal what needed to be healed. And until we resolve the memories from that age, we wouldn’t be allowed to enter into the following grade. Only one or two hours per week in this class. I think the would be incredible! Because if we had the DVD of all of our memories at home, I think we would consume all of them in one night, like a Netflix show and become completely overwhelmed with information.
That leads to me question. Is it then, by the grace of God, that we do not remember every single memory? Is that why memories go down so deep into our subconscious mind? Would we be able to handle the deepest parts of our minds? All at once? I don’t know. All I know is, it IS possible for childhood memories to resurface and when they do, we should take advantage of that resurfacing and heal.
Why does it matter?
It matters because: We Repeat What We Do Not Repair.
That’s all for this week’s blog my friends. Thank you for taking the time to dive into my imagination and my childhood memory. Let me know what you think about the DVD with all of your memories. Would you want one? Let’s talk in the comment section below!
Very interesting 🤔
ReplyDelete