Anger's Biggest Lesson

There is a lesson in everything, in every feeling and in every situation but only if we are willing to look for it. Lately, I’ve been observing myself when anger rises from my chest to my cheeks and I’ve been asking myself what the anger is trying to communicate to me. I am no longer interested in swimming around in endless circles inside of the oceans of my emotions. Nope. It’s not exciting or fulfilling and it does not add value to my life. Now, I’m curious in those moments, I ask loads of questions and the answer is the same almost every time. Anger is a mask. It’s so sneaky. It’s a sneaky mask for the ego. Life Coach, Priscila Mercedes, would put it like this, "It's extremely subtle and can easily go unnoticed if you aren't conscious of it." 

Wearing that mask always feels better than facing the root of the anger. Always! And we always have a choice. We can choose to wear the mask or we can dare to look at the truth. 

I’ll give you a pretty funny example from my life. Okay so, my mom is an incredible human being and when she feels heavy feelings, she sings! Can you believe that? She turns her troubles into literal musicals LOL and for the longest time, that would piss me OFF. We would be going through a tough time and she would start singing her heart out. Loud. Joyful gospel songs, encouraging gospel songs and those gospel songs that are like crying out to God for help. Without fail, I’d get angry and annoyed. I would ask myself, “Why doesn’t she just express how she actually feels instead of putting on a concert that no one asked for?” But anger becomes exhausting after while. Even though I never talked to her about it, I would have these internal conversations every time she did this.  

So I asked myself, “Why am I so angry?” 

The answer: I was scared of expressing my own feelings about the same situation that she was singing about. That fear showed up as anger towards her form of expression. 

Yikes, right? 

The ego justifies the anger by focusing all of your attention on another person. Saying things like, “She’s so inconsiderate of everyone else in the house, she shouldn’t be singing so loud.” “She’s obviously scared of expressing how she truly feels, that’s why she’s covering it up with singing songs.” 

Anger’s biggest lesson is that we need to dig deeper, uncover layers and discover the quiet vulnerable truth that hides behind it. And when we find that truth, we have two choices: We can choose to heal or we can just get mad and stay mad, over and over and over again. The easy route is to stay mad and list every reason why we should stay mad. The easy route bears no lasting fruit. So, let’s take the challenge and go the hard way. Let’s dig past anger and find what’s hiding underneath. The truth that’s afraid to be discovered. 

That truth leads us to back home, to love. 

Now, when I catch my mom singing those songs, instead of getting pissed off, I harmonize and admire her power to sing through the storms that life brings. I am able to enjoy those moments because I have found different ways to process my own emotions so that, the way in which she processes her emotions no longer triggers me. What once was a moment of anger has now turned into a moment of understanding, compassion and love. 

We can apply this to every situation, regardless of how heavy or how light. Anger is always an invitation, from the healing department, to dig deeper. 

That’s all for this week my friends. A reminder to dig a little deeper, past what we think we know and past what we feel. There’s always room to grow, to unlearn and to heal. 

I’m sending you so much love and light and strength. We’ve got this. One day at a time.