Do You Trust Yourself?

 

Many of us were not taught to trust ourselves when we were children. Our parents picked out our clothes for us, picked our activities, we didn’t really get asked for our opinions and we had complete trust in the people who raised us. It’s normal to depend on someone who has been alive longer than us when we are children. We need guidance and instruction so we don’t accidentally kill ourselves when we’re little. But lately, I’ve been thinking about the importance of self trust and how we build it. When we’re young, we trust the opinion’s of others so easily, don’t we? When does OUR opinion become enough? When does our inner voice become enough? When do we stop yearning for outer approval? Do we ever stop yearning for it? Personally, I believe that the more we build trust our selves, the less we look for anything other than our source for affirmation and encouragement.

When we think about building trust with someone else, what are the different things that come to mind? I’ll share 4 that come to my mind.

1. We can’t trust someone that we do not know. We can apply that same truth to ourselves. How can you trust yourself if you do not know yourself? How do you get to know yourself? By asking questions and listening to the answers from within. Meditation, stillness and silence. Void of distractions. Taking quality time with ourselves. The more we get to know ourselves, the more we can trust ourselves. That’s how it works in our relationships with friends or lovers and that is how it works with our relationship with ourselves as well. 
2. What makes someone worthy of trust? What are those qualities? I believe it’s someone who is responsible, someone who keeps their word, someone who always does their best and someone who is kind. Even in the smallest things, are we keeping our promises to ourselves? Even if it’s something as simple as saying that we’re going a walk and then actually going for a walk. And if we weren’t able to take that walk, that we said we were going to take, giving ourselves some kindness. That way, we can trust ourselves to not be our own bully. This, too, is something that we can cultivate. 
3. You can’t truly trust someone who doesn't love you. How do you know someone loves you? By the way they treat you. So, how do you treat yourself? What does your internal dialogue sound like? Do you eat foods that make your gut feel healthy and strong? What do you think, in your head, when you look in the mirror? It’ll get easier to trust ourselves, the more we learn to love ourselves. 
4. Consistency is what really helps me place my trust into someone. This, too, is something that we can always improve upon. We can create consistent habits with workouts or routines, in order to prove to ourselves that we are capable of showing up for ourselves when we need it. Showing up for ourselves means, cheering ourselves on when no one is around to clap, encouraging ourselves in a moment of disappointment or redirecting our thoughts into prayer instead of useless worry in times of trouble. Proving our own consistency to ourselves is the bridge that helps us show up for ourselves during challenging times. 

While I was thinking about all this and ranting about it, in my head, I thought, “Isn’t this a little self centered? Shouldn’t I be focusing on trusting God?” But then I thought, “aren’t I God’s creation?” God made trees and I trust that he made them well. Therefore, I trust that those trees will provide me with the oxygen that I need in order to breathe. God made this entire earth and I trust that gravity will hold me in it, instead of spitting me out into the galaxy. And God made me. Why wouldn’t I learn to trust my self? My emotions? Trust that my emotions are actually meant to communicate messages to me instead of distract me. Why wouldn’t I learn to trust my passions? The subjects that make my heart physically ache with excitement and joy. It took me a long time to trust that my love for the arts was a good thing because I didn’t know that I could trust my own inner voice, so I trusted the voices of others who made me question everything that my heart raced for. And so, I say this with understanding, not anger because I understand that, all along, what I needed to learn, was to trust my SELF. So, let’s continue to work on that self trust my friends because we’ve got grand purpose to fulfill on this earth and the only way we can accomplish that, is to listen to the internal map that our creator placed within each and every one of us. That still small voice within us that says things like, “book this flight” or “move to this state” or “drop out of school and start a business” or “wear the blue shirt instead of the pink one” or “ask that stranger what their name is” or “write a book.” We’ve got to learn how to trust that voice. The more we learn to trust that voice, it's we're like letting our creator know, that we trust what He created. And God makes no mistakes. 

That’s all of my ranting for this week LOL I am sending you all so much love, gratitude and joy.