When we see children in a grocery store or at a park having a temper tantrum, we understand that they do not have the tools to handle their emotions and they have not developed their rational thinking yet. It would be wild of us to expect a child to set their emotions aside while they take some time to think about what the best solution is. Children, simply do not have enough experience to do this for themselves which is why they have guidance.
But what happens when that child is not taught how to process their emotions? Those children become adults who have grown up temper tantrums.
We see it all the time, in traffic, in our work place, in church, in social gatherings and anywhere human beings can be found. I, myself, have been the person having the temper tantrum. We’ve all been there, one way or another, am I right?
According to an article from Cleveland Clinic, they explain, that children usually have these temper tantrums because they want or need something that they can’t express with their words.
I love that explanation because it can be applied to all of our grown up temper tantrums as well. Often times, we are not taught how to properly express ourselves and we suppress too much. Being aware of this truth can help us show our fellow humans some compassion and it can also help us understand ourselves when we catch ourselves acting out in ridiculous ways. There have times where I’ve found myself reacting in such an angry way towards something so insignificant and I have had to reparent myself by asking, “what is it that you need right now?” “What are you actually feeling?” If we don’t do that for ourselves at this big age, who will? It’s something we’ve all got to put in practice.
This month has been challenging for me so far and I realized that I had been throwing grown up temper tantrums all month long. Instead of expressing myself, I was secluding myself and barely speaking to anyone. Otherwise known as the silent treatment. Instead of being solution oriented, I was being completely emotionally oriented and I realized that I need to find a balance. I am no longer a child who can afford to let an adult find a solution for me or to tell me how to feel. It is my responsibility to use my words, to express myself, to rationalize and find solutions.
Many times, I find myself reverting back into that childlike position of solely feeling my feelings without including any solutions or perspectives. But this learning process is part of adulting, unfortunately and if we were not taught how to do this, it is still our responsibility to learn.
This week I want to shed some light on this because being aware is an amazing first step towards learning how to reparent ourselves in this area. According to the Holistic Psychologist, she says that, “reparenting ourselves is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child.”
Many of us did not receive the necessary tools that are needed to handle, process and express our emotions. It’s important to understand that we didn’t receive those tools because our parents/guardians did not have those tools to begin with.
It’s also important to understand that emotional intelligence does not come with age, it comes to us when intentionally take the time to work on ourselves and look within to heal our wounds.
I’m on the journey my friends and that is the only reason why I like to write about these things. I do not, in any way, have it all together. I am in the process on developing my tools and failing and learning and failing and learning how to reparent myself.
I’m going to add a link to an amazing article from the Holistic Psychologist, if you’re interested in reading about reparenting and how to begin that process: https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/what-is-reparenting-and-how-to-begin/
I am sending you so much love and light and strength for your own individual journey. We’re in this together, you are never alone because every single human being on this planet has something to work on, something to heal and grow from so let’s keep growing my friends.
Comments
Post a Comment