Pain is paralyzing until you accept it.

Blooming Season Family! 

We’re still alive. Won’t you look at that. I thought I was going to explode this week, how about you? I felt so many feelings and I cried a whole lot. That’s the part of being human that still takes me by surprise sometimes. The pain of it all. I wish I knew how and when I came up with the impossible notion that life is mostly rainbows. And even then, if life is full of rainbows, that includes rain doesn’t it? Because rainbows only show up after it's pouring rain. Ah life, the beautiful, thunderous adventures of life. I don’t have anything too formal to share this week because I feel like I’m still wiping off the sweat from my last life lesson but I do want to share some thoughts that I have about pain and acceptance. 

Every once in a while, I look around my life and the world around me in shock and I quietly think to myself, “What a mess.” As if everything in my life and everything in the world is supposed to always feel like Christmas time. Doesn’t Christmas time always feel heavenly? Oh man, the sweets, the Christmas movies, the Christmas music, the quality family time. It's as if time slows down and you’re living in another universe for a few days. (Can you tell Christmas is my favorite holiday?) But life isn’t always full of jingle bells and carols and I know that but sometimes I forget and that’s when the pain catches me by surprise for a moment.  

The normal pains of life: A sickness in the family, a new challenge, an old challenge, a disheartening disagreement, the ending on a relationship, a change in careers, the daring pursuit of a dream, death, etc. 

All of this brings its own flavor of pain. 

My goal is to expect pain like the sunrise but not fear it like a monster that’s coming after me with the intention to destroy me. Pain can only destroy me if I ignore it. It’s like a deep and wide open flesh wound, right? If you don’t get stitches, close it up properly, it will get infected and cause worse damage. 

My pain desperately needs my attention. That's why it hurts. It's trying to get my attention.  

I’ll be honest with you guys. Sometimes I ignore my pain and it gets messy in my mind for a few days. This past week, I had my period and let me tell you. I ate enough dark chocolate to feed your neighborhood. I wasted time numbing my feelings and until one day I cried enough tears to make my own indoor pool. 

Why do I have to wait that long before I acknowledge how I feel? Have you ever done that? 

It’s like leaving all your work for the end of the day when you could have started early in the morning. 

Feelings, trauma, childhood wounds, current circumstances: Pain is all around. All day long. So, why ignore it until it grows into a pile so unbelievably gigantic on your desk? 

I’ve written about this on the blog before because it’s a lesson that has many layers. Once I believe that I’ve conquered this lesson, life throws a slightly different kind of pain at me. The layers of learning, healing and discovering never end as long as we’re alive. That’s good news as long as we learn how to accept pain in the same way in which we accept joy. Both normal. Both necessary. 

BUT HOW? 

I remember one of my favorite bible dudes, Paul, said, “I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances.” 

Really Paul? Content? Even when things really suck? 

I’ll be transparent and say that I am learning. I’ve yet to master being content regardless of my circumstance because I resist the normal pains of life instead of embracing them. What would happen to a mother who doesn’t push when she feels the pain of contractions? Well, her baby wouldn’t come out into the world and I’m reminding us both of that truth this week. I don’t know if you need the reminder but let me tell you. I do. 

Pain is what helps us give birth to the fullness of who God created us to be.

Two more things:

1. Paul said that he learned. Learning is a process. He wasn’t born knowing. What a relief. We’ve got time to learn.
2. Paul shares some practical advice that we could apply to our lives in order continue this learning process. 

• “Rejoice in the Lord (delight, take pleasure in Him); again I will say, rejoice!” - Philippians 4:4

• I know. This sounds annoying at 1st because you’re like, “Okaaaay? How do I rejoice in the Lord? What does that even look like?” 
• Making a habit out of expressing gratitude to God and to others, taking time away from everything and meditating in silence, walking in nature, talking to God like a best friend, playing a joy filled song and dancing. All good things come from God so participate in something good and BAM, you’re rejoicing in the Lord. 

• “Let your gentle spirit (your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience) be known to all people.” Philippians 4:5

• Does this mean that we turn away if we see some racist or unjust happening right in front of us? No. But it DOES mean that we can handle the situation with as much kindness as we can instead of going down to someone else’s level. 
• We all have a gentle spirit within us and we all have a stanky booty attitude spirit within us as well. Let’s ask God for the strength to choose the gentle one. Amen? 
• Living life this way brings more peace to our inner world and the world surrounding us. 

• “Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything (every circumstance and situation) by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your specific requests known to God.” Philippians 4:6

• I noticed that whenever pain overwhelms me, I am underwhelming the presence of God in my life. 
• I believe that there’s higher power who wants to walk through this life with me but if I ignore Him, how could I receive his counseling, direction, compassion, perspective, power, etc.  
• My prayers are the response to God’s never expiring invitation to have an never ending conversation with about every detail of my life, the world and how we can work together to make things better. 

You can find more of Paul’s awesome tips in Philippians Chapter 4. 

Applying these practices consistency is something that will help us accept the turbulence of life. Because we’re up here on this gigantic ball called Earth, spinning at the speed of light, surrounded by galaxies, so we cannot expect a smooth ride, we just cannot. Pain is part of the deal but it has the potential to transform into something beautiful once we accept it, face it and learn from it. 

Pain can only paralyze us while we refuse to accept it. 

This is my reminder to you and to myself. 

Take 3 deep breaths my friends. 

Keep growing. 

We got this.