Going Against Societal Expectations

Blooming Season Family! 

I hope you all had an awesome thanksgiving, filled with family and delicious food. I’m still eating left overs and drinking hot tea afterwards to clear my conscious, ha! Praise God for cornbread, right? 

The day right after thanksgiving, I decorated the Christmas tree and hung lights around the place. I’m stirring up the Christmas spirit and I'm feeling so much gratitude to be alive and healthy. 

This is my favorite season of the year because the energy in the air is light and warm and loving. 

Along with the holidays, come a lot of unasked for conversations and opinions from other people about your life. 

Especially when you’re in your late twenties and aren’t married or have any children. 

A few days ago, I saw a lady who used to go to my church, right after she said hello, she looked at my ring finger, made a sad face and said, “No wedding yet?” 

Annoying yet expected in our society. 

I smiled at her. 

An honest smile because I understood that she was projecting her fear of being single unto me. I had compassion towards her fear and responded sweetly, “Nope.” 

It honestly amazes me that there are so many people who believe that a life without marriage or children is incomplete or unfulfilling. 

Can we normalize being genuinely joyous without a spouse? 

Around this time of year, on social media, I always see at least one person saying that they need someone to cuddle with for the winter because it’s cold and they’re lonely. 

And I get it. 

Companionship is cool but what about going against societal exceptions? That’s cool too. 

I know some people who are in dead relationships because, to them, it’s better than being alone. 

No thanks. 

My alone time, is sweet and here’s the truth. 

Unless I meet someone whose presence is just as sweet or sweeter than my alone time, I will happily continue to choose myself. 

I refuse to settle for someone just to “have someone.” 

gross. 

The relationships that I've cultivated with myself, with God, with my family, are so beautifully rich and there is just no way that I could settle for less. 

We’re raised to believe in the popular and linear structure of life but I’ve learned that my value does not derive from the applause of approval from my fellow humans. 

If you’re reading this and you’re already married, there’s always another stereotypical expectation from society, it could be the type of career path that they think you should be taking or the way you live your life or the risks that you are taking. 

What is one societal norm that you are going against? 

We all deal with this on some level. 

So, how do we deal with these questions and conversations? Especially during the holidays, when random people feel empowered to dig through your life with their unsolicited curiosity. 

• Offer understanding and respect towards them. 
• Keep in mind that many people live their lives a certain way and will expect you to do the exact same. 
• Observe your reaction because if you’re triggered by their questions, you’ve got some healing to do. 
• Accept your unique journey through this life. 
• Connect with people who understand. 

That’s all I’ve got for today my friends. 

Don’t allow anything or anyone to steal your joy. 

Don’t give anyone or anything the permission to make you feel bad or sad or behind on your journey. 

Remember that every star in space in different yet they all shine. 

Keep in mind that, while people are speaking to you, they are also speaking to themselves and will often project their fears/doubts unto you but you do not have to engage in their fears, simply offer understanding. 

We share this planet with so many different kinds of humans, we may as well learn how to tango and make space for one another. 

Let's grow!