We are constantly uncovering new layers of ourselves.
The more time we invest in our growth, the more we discover wounds that are still open and areas where we can improve.
I was watching a movie a few days ago and I heard one small line that did two things for me.
It impacted me and it pointed towards an area to my life that I need to focus on.
The scene is from a movie called, “Marriage Story.”
The main character’s sister was complaining about the fact that she used to audition for hundreds of plays and she was never cast in any of them.
Her mother responded to her complaint by saying, “Oh honey, that’s because you wanted it too badly.”
That small line sent my mind flying into a new personal discovery.
We all have dreams right? We all have goals. We all have desires.
When I heard that line, I was awakened to the truth that I currently want my dreams and goals too badly.
It’s not a negative thing to have a desire but that desire can transform itself into poison when it is not rooted in love.
This is my case and I am working on making my way back to love being the only intention.
My desire for my dreams/goals/visions to come into complete fruition has been rooted in filling voids instead of genuine love.
Ouch.
Truth purifies intention though, so I am glad that I was honest with myself about that and I am now able to put in the work to improve this area of myself.
I still struggle with deep insecurities and feelings of worthlessness. Any amount of success was a temporary filler of those voids that I am still working on.
Instead of working towards my goals out of love, sharing that love with others and a mentality of service. I was unconsciously filling voids.
The comment from the movie led me to ask myself, “Why do you want this dream so bad?”
I’m not dealing with the same insecurities from 10 years ago, I’ve grown and healed those. Thank God, but the growth never stops.
The interesting thing about life is that we are constantly discovering ourselves, within the varied scenarios in which we find ourselves, we are presented with weak areas and given a opportunity to strengthen them.
I had made an idol out of a specific destination instead of enjoying the journey.
I recently heard Jay Shetty say that, one of ways to get realign yourself to your pure intention is to ask yourself, “why” three times.
I want to be a successful artist.
Why?
I love music, telling stories and connecting with others though melodies/lyrics.
Why?
I believe this is a gift from God that I can use to serve the world.
Why?
This gift could not have been given to me for my own selfish gain or my own destruction. It has to be for a greater purpose.
I have noticed that the 3 why’s get us further away from ourselves and our ego.
It’s easy to drift from purpose and into insecurities or ego. That is why I have trying my best to have a few minutes of realignment each day.
That is what I have discovered about myself recently and I just wanted to share.
What are you discovering these days?
- No one is perfect so don’t beat yourself up for discovering areas of weakness
- Do not be ashamed of your truth. Say it out to yourself. It will give you space to improve.
- The journey of self discovery ends when you die.
- Ask yourself what you have learned this week. There are lessons in each day.
- Be kind to yourself and patient with yourself.
- Practice compassion with those around you.
- Deal with one day at a time my friends. One day at a time.
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