I had a panic attack yesterday.
I have never experienced this. I always assumed panic attacks happened when you are in the middle of doing something stressful.
I was in the middle of doing my vocal warmups that I do everyday and out of no where I started sweating, felt nauseous, heart started beating fast and I had to stop the warm up.
I remember saying out loud, “What the heck is going on? I was fine one second ago.”
I didn’t know what was happening. My mouth was producing saliva quickly and I felt extremely weak. I went over to the sink to spit, breathe deep and calm myself.
After the nausea went away I forced myself to continue my vocal warmups and about 10 minutes later I felt completely normal as if nothing had happened.
Since I felt completely normal, I went on with my day and I honestly forgot about what had happened.
This morning I remembered what happened and googled the description of what I had experienced and it was very clear that it was a panic attack.
I asked myself : WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU HAVE A PANIC ATTACK?
This Quarantine Is Revealing A Lot Of Hidden Truths.
My normal distractions are gone, I’m spending a lot of extra time with family and a whole lot of time inside of my own head.
- I’m healing my childhood self
- Learning how to reparent myself
- Trying to keep up with my normal productive schedule in fear of getting lazy
- Learning new truths about my family
In The Silence, The Subconscious Mind Arises And Now There's No Hiding.
Facing your deepest truths repeatedly can be draining.
I haven’t been giving myself enough time to just have fun. Away from all of the heavy discoveries that I have been making.
I’ve been like a mad scientist with my brain, trying to figure out all of my issues all at once and CLEARY by body said, “GIRL STOP FOR A SECOND BECAUSE I AM TIRED.”
Oops. Sorry girl.
Now, I’m making adjustments because I have never experienced a panic attack before and I do not want to experience that ever again.
Adjustments/Balance
Lately I haven’t been writing my schedule for the following day like I usually do and I’ve been going to sleep very late.
Without sufficient sleep, I’ve putting a demand on my body to still wake up early and workout.
HELLO?! I can definitely understand why my body freaked out on me for a few minutes.
I’m going to be taking this as a wake up call to start writing out my schedule before the next day like I used to, planning the amount of time I’ll spend digging around in my head and planning out the amount of time I’ll allow myself to just have fun and relax.
I’ll admit it : I’ve been afraid that this quarantine would stop the work ethic that I have been trying to build so I’ve been over doing it.
Reminder
If you’re not performing with your normal level of enthusiasm this week? Don’t beat yourself up for it. These are not normal circumstances that we are living in so make the adjustments that need to be made.
Be nice to yourself my friend.
If you have fallen back to negative habits, forgive yourself and take one step forward today. One tiny step, like a walk around your neighborhood. Let the sun shine on your face.
One tiny step, like playing an upbeat song and doing a silly dance in front of the bathroom mirror.
One tiny step back into the light.
Lastly, listen to your body.
- Slow down if you need to.
- Vent to a trusted loved on if you need to.
- Cry if you need to.
- Pause and breathe deep throughout your day if you need to.
- Just listen and lovingly respond.
Let's remember to take this journey day by day. One step at a time. We got this. We really do! God is in control. Especially when we lose control. Look up Child. We're gonna be alright. Honor your process.
Have you ever experienced a panic attack?
Comment your experience down below!
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for reading.
It’s Blooming Season :)
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