We’re complicated beings aren’t we? There’s always something new to learn.
Recently I’ve been learning about different types of defense mechanisms.
Shutting down is something that I do when I want to avoid a difficult situation. I tend to shut my emotions down, no reactions and silence.
Then, I deal with whatever needs to be dealt as fast as I can from a numb and cold position to protect myself from feeling anything negative.
Why do I do that?
Crying and giving into the feelings that come along with really difficult situations is challenging for me. Surrender isn’t always easy.
I’m working on it.
It’s true what they say, “Knowledge is power.” Becoming aware of these defense mechanisms has helped me continue work through them and feel my feelings more often rather than escape them.
I want to share 10 different defense mechanisms that I’ve recently learned about. I'm not a professional in these topics I'm simply sharing what I'm learning on my growth journey with you guys.
Denial
This one is the most popular one in my opinion.
This is when we downplay the truth or completely refuse to accept it.
Repression
This one is interesting because we do this unconsciously. Thoughts, memories and feelings that are too painful to be aware of are pushed down. The difference between suppression and repression is the awareness.
When we suppress something we do it on purpose. When something is repressed we are unconscious of it and literally forget what happened. This tends to happen as a way to protect ourselves.
This is why therapy is important.
We are as deep as the ocean and some things about us are at the very bottom.
You can read more information regarding repression here :
Projection
This is when we see what we are experiencing or a characteristic that we do not like in ourselves in someone else. We don’t accept it within ourselves.
For example : We might be feeling sad and instead of admitting it, we tell someone that they look sad and we ask them if they want to tell us what is wrong.
Displacement
This is when we experience anger towards a co worker for example and we take it out on a family member at home.
Confronting the co worker may seem too dangerous so you take out your anger on someone who you know is safe.
Regression
This is one is when we go backwards and start acting like a child.
For example :
If something doesn’t go your way, instead of working out the problem and accepting the reality, you have a tempter tantrum and start crying frantically like a four year old that didn’t get the toy he wanted from his parents in the store.
This is wild. By wild, I mean that this is so confronting.
Sometimes, instead of voicing how I feel, I give the silent treatment and ignore people.
Knowing this information is helping me acknowledge when it is happening so I could encourage myself to speak up instead.
Going back to our childhood ways of dealing with problems is easier but there is no growth there.
Rationalization
This is like another form of denial in which we call our difficult situation by another name to make hurt less.
I’ve done this in the past with auditions.
I’ve auditioned for something that I really wanted, when I did not get chosen I would say something like, “That show sucks anyway. No one really watches it anymore.”
Sublimation
Alright ladies and gentleman, this is actually a positive defense mechanism. This is when we take out our anger through a positive channel like working out, drawing or making music.
It’s basically, releasing a toxic emotion through a production form.
It can continue to be positive if we don't overdue it by working out to the point where we get hurt for example. Or creating instead of getting the sleep that you need.
Reaction Formation
This is when we act in the opposite way of what we actually feel because we do not want to accept what we are actually feeling.
WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS? Oh my Lord, help us Jesus LOL
For example :
I could have a crush on someone but I act like I dislike him. Or I have an issue with a co worker that really bothers me but I act like I love them and like everything is perfectly fine.
Compartmentalization
This one is really interesting. It’s basically when we act a certain way in one area of life and then we act in a completely different way in another area of life.
For example :
- Being loving at home but being rude at work
- Telling the truth to your friends but lying to your family
Intellectualization
This is when we focus on the cold hard facts and we ignore our emotions.
For example :
Your family member gets diagnosed with a mental illness and you focus on learning everything about the mental illness rather than acknowledging that this is something that makes you feel terribly sad, angry and scared.
Which one of these defense mechanisms have you used the most?
Comment down below!
I’ve used a few of them and I am working on accepting the fullness of what life presents and the emotions that come along with it all.
These are the thrills of the living.
We got this!
Remember that it’s a journey so have patience with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Take it one day at a time my friends.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for reading.
It’s Blooming Season :)
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