I’m In Love For The First Time



I’ve been in peer pressure (when I was younger), I’ve been obsessed and I’ve been in lust. 

Being in all of those spaces have taught me about what love is NOT supposed to be like. 

But nothing is wasted. 

The lessons that I’ve gained are worth more than gold itself and I am grateful. 

Preteen Peer Pressure 

When I was in middle school, “going out” was a popular term. Getting to really know the person was not a requirement. A boy would approach you OR more realistically they would have their friend approach you. They would say something like, “Hey my friend thinks your cute. He wants to know if you would go out with him?” 

LMAO - gosh, middle school was stupid.  

You would THINK that “going out” means just that : going out somewhere like a movie or ice-cream but nope. That term was used to ask someone to be your girlfriend or boyfriend. So, if you said yes? You held hands in the hallways and pop kissed before class. 

Needless to say, I did not fall in love in Middle School. I fell into peer pressure. 

Was it fun at the time? Sure. Telling your friends about the drama and getting much needed attention. It felt like having the new toy that just came out. We were all just so happy to have a toy to show off and compare. 

The lesson : Preteen Peer Pressure taught me that I can say no regardless of how it makes the other person feel. I am not obligated to protect anyones feelings, especially if it means stepping on my own. 

Teenage Obsession           


This was intense because everything feels like the end of the world when you’re a teenager. I remember seeing this guy in the hallway for the first time and I immediately thinking, “Wow look at the good Lord’s magical creation.” 

I admired him from a far and then one of my best friends at the time randomly introduced me to him and I WAS IN SHOCK. I had no idea that they knew each other but it turns out that they had the same class in the morning. 

I never thought he would ever like me so I just continued my quiet obsession. Guys, I even cut out a picture of him from the school newspaper (because he was on a sports team) and had it up on my wall like he was Lil Bow Wow or Lil Romeo or something LOL I was ridiculously obsessed with him. 

THEN ONE DAY - this guy asked me for my number and we started texting. We eventually started dating and it was a dream for a few weeks but relationships do not work when one person has the other on a pedestal. 

I was so shy around him and barely spoke to him about real issues that people in relationships talk about. Also, I never told him I was obsessed with him at one point in my life because that would’ve made me look like a creep. Which I probably was but still, he didn’t have to know that. (Gosh, I sound really creepy. I'm judging myself too lol ) 

We broke up when I was 17, it took me YEARS to get over him and I wasn’t even IN LOVE. 

The lesson : Teenage Obsession taught me not to worship my partner. They are not God. They are human. It also taught me that the best thing you could bring to the table is your authentic self. It’s boring to cover up your personality, hoping that you’re partner would like you better that way. 

Lust

I had been single for a while when I met this guy so I was feeling lonely. That was the first lesson : Do not get into a relationship just because you’re lonely. It is better to be alone than to be accompanied by someone who is not for you.

I was only attracted to him physically, not intellectually, not emotionally or spiritually. Only physical. That’s a clear indicator that I was being led by lust, alone. 

Obviously, attraction is necessary but it cannot be the sole reason you are with someone. That was another lesson : Attraction will never be enough to sustain a relationship. There must be a foundational connection beyond the physical. 

Do they agree with your core values/beliefs? 
Can you talk to this person about absolutely everything? 
Can you pray with this person? 
Can you open your heart to this person? 
Cry with them? Free of judgement?
Can you learn with this person? 
Can you have an intellectual conversation with this person without arguing over opinions? 
Are you becoming a better version of yourself with this person? 
Do you love the person you are, when you around this person? 

If all you feel comfortable doing is kissing them? You’re in lust. 

That passionate fire always ends in messy flames. You will end up burned. Trust me, I know. Run while you can. The longer you stay, the harder it gets to run. 

Love 

Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

What an incredible feeling to be loved perfectly! I am learning that I am deeply loved by my maker, the Most High God. 

This perfect love of God is teaching me how to love myself and to demonstrate that love by making beneficial choices. 

This perfect love of God has infused me with joy that is not attached to anything or anyone. 
This perfect love of God know me completely and STILL loves me beyond my flaws.
This perfect love of God satisfies me. 

I encourage you to reach out to this love. I know, it sounds too good to be true but it is so real. 

By this love I have been healed.                               
By this love I have been set free. 
By this love I have everlasting hope. 
By this love I have everything that I need. 

I’m in love for the first time. 

One day when I meet my future partner, I will be whole on my own and ready to offer healthy love. Not perfect but healthy. 

Love is more than pictures on social media.
Love is more than fun. 
Love is more than entertainment. 
Love is more than a good feeling. 

Love transforms! 

Have you ever been in love? What has your experience been like? Share your stories in the comments below. 

Thank you for being here.
Thank you for reading.
Let’s grow! 

It’s Blooming Season.









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